August 8th 2023: 0000 hours.
Yes, I am officially 30. It’s finally here, my 30th birthday! Unlike the previous ‘energetic’ years, this year there were no midnight calls or surprise visits. That did a bit good to my sleep schedule as well. To be honest, I never had enough midnight oil to burn, whether study or work or play.
30 years is a long period of life, at least for me. But, do I feel that old? Thankfully, not. I am thirty. I am not married. I don’t have my own house (yes, I still live with my parents). I don’t have a car. And for fun, I don’t plan my life.
When I would picture 30-year-olds in my head they were always super mature, all grown up with their houses and their cars and their babies and all that adult stuff.
Thirty definitely sneaks up on you, that’s for sure. It’s like one minute you’re at school and the next you’re saying goodbye to your 20’s! I’ve been a bit nervous about turning 30, not because I feel old or anything like that, but because everyone else makes such a big deal about turning 30. You kind of get it into your head that it’s all downhill after 30 and you start to get fat and lose your youthful glow and all that crap.
My birthday was on Tuesday, and as I typically had, it was just going to be a usual post Monday. No party, no gathering, just a few ‘happy birthday’ messages from my family and my loved ones. Funny enough, I did not expect it to be grand. I did have a bucket list that I wanted to do before turning 30, maybe that list itself is dumped in some bucket at my home.
I did catch enough time during the day to reflect on the decade which had flown by rather quickly.
At the start of my 20’s, I was money-hungry and success driven. I wanted to climb the corporate ladder and earn as much money as possible so I could spend it on beautiful and expensive clothes and shoes, have a luxury car and a very gorgeous house decked out with plush furnishings. Like most other STEM graduates in India, I too had the American Dream. I was confident. I knew what I wanted to do, what I was looking for, and what my target was. I had accomplished a lot, and I was making my parents proud. I was single and I knew I wanted to stay single. Getting married and having kids? Never my priority.
As a society, we have created this (completely false) notion that life ends after 30.
I feel like I am entering a decade where I can finally be unapologetically and authentically myself. Instead of thinking that my life has ended, I believe it has only just begun.
To be honest, I view my 30s as an extension of my 20s, but with more financial stability, increased confidence, and better decision-making skills. It’s a milestone to celebrate and embrace with open arms.
At 30, I’ve come to realize the importance of meaningful connections and nurturing relationships — and not just the romantic ones. We now seek friendships that inspire us, challenge us, and bring out the best in us. We recognize the value of support systems and the strength that comes from community.
Not having it all figured out doesn’t mean we lack direction or purpose. Instead, it allows us to approach life with curiosity and openness. We can navigate uncharted territories, take detours, and learn valuable lessons along the way. These uncertain moments give us the opportunity to adapt, learn, and grown.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading.
Today I am saying goodbye to my 20s and hello to my 30s! If you had asked me ten years ago how I would feel about turning thirty I would have been hesitant and probably a little horrified at the thought of turning 3-0. Birthdays always tend to evoke a bit of reflection for me. I enjoy reflecting on the hardships, the accomplishments & all the things that got me to where I am today. Although there were many great accomplishments, there were hardships along the way, too. To celebrate I wanted to share 30 things I have learned in 30 years with you all!
30 Things I have learned in 30 years
1. It’s ok to say no. And it’s also ok if saying “no” disappoints someone else. I used to think saying “yes” to everything made me a better person. And I learned that saying “yes” doesn’t make me a better person, in fact, it takes away from me being my best self.
2. Some friendships are lifelong & others are “situationships.” There are friends that you know are for life & there’s friends that come into your life during a season. There’s nothing wrong with either type of friendship, but it’s important to know that not every friendship is forever and it’s ok to let certain ones go.
3. Learn to apologize when you’re wrong. And learn to forgive others. I’ll admit, I can be stubborn and hold a grudge, but Life is too short for that. Now I’m quick to apologize and more eager to forgive.
4. It’s ok to grow, evolve & change. No one is ever going to remain the same. It’s human nature to grow, change & evolve in life.
5. Making mistakes is normal… and they’re only mistakes if you don’t learn from them. I learned that it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them along the way. It happens to everyone.
6. Value your time & your worth. My time is valuable, not free. I know my strengths and those are worth something.
7. Not everyone is going to like you…and that’s ok. Focus on those people that do like you and want to be in your presence.
8. You can always ask for help, even when it’s hard. I am a very independent person and it’s very hard for me to ask for help. There have been a few situations that I have gotten myself into that could have easily been alleviated had I just asked for help when I needed it. You live and you learn.
9. Social media can be toxic. Take a break when you need it. I always try to remind myself that social media is everyone’s highlight reel. I know I don’t share my darkest days with my followers and other people don’t either! Take a break when you need to – it’ll be good for your mental health.
10. Quality over quantity. This goes for basically everything in life, seriously.
11. Pick your battles. Let some things roll off your back!
12. You can’t set a timeline for your life. Growing up I had this “ideal” timeline in my head of how I thought my life was going to play out. All I can say is Thank God that’s not how it happened. Life has unfolded exactly how it should, when it should.
13. It’s ok to open up and be vulnerable, you don’t always have to hide that part of you. It can be intimidating to let your guard down and open up, but do it with those you trust. It will bring a better bond and a better understanding of each other.
14. Don’t let others’ opinions of you diminish your shine. Don’t do that – letting their words in only diminishes your shine.
15. You can’t measure love. There are few things best left without a metric.
16. It’s ok to not have it all figured out. I mean does anyone!? Enough said.
17. Take a risk, what’s scary is often worthwhile. Looking back, some of the biggest risks have provided the biggest rewards.
18. True friends will celebrate your success & support you in your failures. Hold those friends close to you, you need each other more than you know!
19. Some days just suck & it’s ok to wallow in it sometimes. But don’t wallow too much because it can put you in a dark place. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and then move on when you can!
20. Don’t underestimate yourself, even when others do. You are a gem & you are capable of many things. Remember that!
21. Be present. Don’t let memories fall to the wayside because you were too busy behind your phone or computer screen.
22. Stop trying to impress others. It never works out well. Ever. Be yourself and the people who love you for who you are.
23. Worrying never helps the situation. Ever. Does it help? Heck no! Is the situation ever worst case? Hardly ever. Stop worrying and work through it instead!
24. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself grace. Talk yourself up. Be on your own team.
25. Family is everything. Hold them close and let them know how much you love and appreciate them.
26. Get outside of your comfort zone. It’s not as scary as you think. You never know until you try.
27. Don’t speak or act when you’re angry or emotional. Nothing good ever comes from acting on emotions. Give the situation time to diffuse itself. Decide when to speak or act once you have had a moment to reflect thoughtfully on the situation. Nine times out of ten the situation isn’t as bad as you thought when you were emotional.
28. Do what makes you happy. But also, be smart about it. It’s simple as that. You can be happy, but you also need to think things through!
29. Never stop learning. Everyone has a story that you can learn from. You’re never too old to learn from someone else. People aren’t always what they seem, take the time to listen to someone’s story.
30. Invest in yourself. Part of being your best self is making sure that you are investing in yourself. Take those moments of self-care, do what you enjoy & invest in making you an even better version of yourself. it will make a big difference.
It took me a few days to process what these lessons really mean but I think I know now. It means I’m ready. I feel at peace with all the hardships of the last 10-15 years, I’ve forgiven myself for the mistakes and am thankful for the lessons. I’ve accepted who I am and I’m proud of myself – a far cry from how I used to feel.
So, turning 30? Bring it on.
