Marriage Or Mirage? That is the question

Age group 20s; time for transition: from pocket money to salary, teenagers to adults, carefree to responsible, students to employees, college to office, single to …. Wait!! Don’t you think we move on too fast?

All transformations are subdued after a time but not this one; this is one such change which actually turns your world upside down or rather threatens to do so.

“To be or not to be, that is the question.” The question is not about survival, it’s about the one thing we, especially Indians, love: marriage.

Okay, we just saw love and marriage together? No, they are separated by a space and a colon. In reality they may be miles apart, sometimes never mutually existent.

So, why did I stress upon the age group of 20s? Well, this is the time when the society thinks you are capable enough of having a family although you may not even convincingly decide between chocolate or strawberry ice cream. This is the time when your birth almanac actually sends signals to your planets to align themselves in a better position to ruin your happy life. This is the time when your inner devil says, “You need someone!”

Luckily, very few of us also grow up to realize their first love or crush was not the ultimate thing they wanted in life. But are we ready to climb the next step? Or rather are we risking it by jumping on a floating stone?

We all have at least one friend in common who gets married in early 20s, usually owing to parental or societal pressure. For girls, it has become a common notion like a fashion sense.

I don’t blame the institution of marriage nor am I against it. It’s about the “time” when you tie the knot! We all see the grand marriages, lavish celebrations, sumptuous feast; weeklong festivities sometimes even month long, the happy families, the emotional moments and all the stuff under the sun. 

Let’s focus on the soul of this wedding, the two individuals who may no longer enjoy their individuality and enforce the system of “two-bodies-one-soul” to another level. Accept that we hardly focus on them, where 90% of the crowd focuses on the cuisine; do we care what’s on the plate for the two of them?

We made a blockbuster movie named “2 states”; seriously? You involved the states but did anyone focus on the “2 souls”?

They say, “Every relation drives on trust.” Relationships fail, love marriages falter and they expect all kinds of marriages to go on?

10 minutes is sometimes the only time you get to judge your potential life partner; few days if you really beg for it and months if your stars favor you, for a change.

We check several websites for that one missing dress in our wardrobe; what about the one missing person in your life? 

Don’t you think we got to sense better?  I oppose this way, this method and this practice which the society advocates as the protocol of being accepted in the society.

As Indians, we are always terrified of the “Log kya kahenge” syndrome and fall prey to the pressure of “choosing the right one” at an age when we should be thinking about a better choice, a better life.

Heartbreaks do happen: few face it once; few face it every week:-P But hanging on to a stranger, you just know for the past few days, for a lifetime with an expectation to move smoothly might not work your way.

We have a nasty habit of pushing our expectations to our next generations. Let’s hope that we never have to say regretfully, “Do not err like me and take time to understand marriage!”

I have seen and heard of marriages fail, even after years of union. Such is the brittle nature of our relations that it just takes a slight crack to tear down the love of years. While those who choose not to separate end up being slaves of their destiny and shackled up by the society.

Marriages shall happen as death does but when, whom and why: these few questions need to be answered. And sorry, these can’t be copied because everyone of us here has a different question paper :)

I wish to rest my case by saying that marriage is a beautiful union of two souls which can’t be enforced nor does it work on a protocol. We have to give ourselves the right “time” to be prepared and hope that all pieces fall in the right place so that we have the elusive beautiful picture in front of us J Till then, to all my friends in 20s, enjoy the youth :-P